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You have to start thinking, feeling and doing things differently. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and start looking for new ways to go about it, things you haven’t tried yet.Definitely get rid of the mindset “nobody wants me”, and start asking yourself this: what am I doing, thinking or feeling right now that’s preventing me from finding love? But it’s the kind of work that will get you to a whole new and oh-so-much-better place. If you don’t know where to begin and how to go about it, I can help.That’s when it’s time to set your boundaries and make it clear what you expect in future. When this happens, be very clear about what bothered you. “When you arrive late all the time, it makes me feel like you don’t value my time, which then makes me feel angry. I don’t mind it once in a while, but when it keeps happening it becomes really frustrating…” That way you’re communicating, (a) what you’re feeling, and (b) how he can change to solve the problem.

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But what if you feel you ARE ready, and you can’t help but expect it ALL the time? Even though odds might look like they’re stacked against you, even if you rarely get asked out and regularly get rejected when you ask someone, even though all your dates have ended in disaster – you are still the most important ingredient in the mix. You absolutely MUST acknowledge the fact you are in control, to be able to change what’s currently happening (or not happening) to you.

If the way I’ve been doing things so far hasn’t worked, let’s see what I can do differently – to get a different result. The ‘how’ part is very individual, so we’ll have to work on it together.

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