And dating for women
Many of the people we know seem to fit comfortably in partnerships that do not require one person to be berated or belittled by the other.What I mean is, can we believe that this woman is really telling us what under cesspool-type conditions?They were superficial, loud, insecure, interested only in football and sex, in that order, and threatened by any strong woman who came along. I had previously challenged Thelma’s assertions about men, “ men want to dominate women? She explained now in detail, with illustrations from her past, their various defects, which, as far as she was concerned, characterized all the other men in the world too. When she came in Thursday evening, she was in a cheerier mood.It was like listening for forty-five minutes to someone playing a broken piano. She had become engaged, she told me, to somebody she had met In the space of that little time, she had contracted to marry someone she had just met! I think they are often angry because they suspect someone listening to them may think that the problem is not with the entire opposite sex, but with them. The other group of people who comment on my blog state flat out that the problem is with them. I can’t see why anyone would want to marry me.” “I feel disgusted with myself.” “I am undesirable.” “I feel inferior to every single person I meet.” These are only some of their comments. I listen to them and imagine what a first date would think listening to them express (despite their efforts to contain themselves) thoughts of this sort.
What has struck me reading these remarks is how angry and bitter they are.These responses, and other similar comments I have heard from patients, divide unevenly into two groups: Most of these men and women, many of whom have responded anonymously, state plainly that all of the people they have dated are miserable human beings. I don’t mean, can we believe that all men are rotten human beings, the kind of thing you would find in a cesspool. Probably no generalization about men and women, favorable or unfavorable, would be entirely accurate.