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After a few messages, I gave him my Google Voice number and we began texting.In my mind, I started to call him Baby Sub because it became clear he, too, was exploring, but I made him call me ma'am or Miss _______ (a name I won't reveal here).So when I finally activated an Ok Cupid account in the spring, I didn't expect so many white men to reach out to me or for them to move so quickly into revealing their fetish for black women.
Because he was still pretty new to being a sub, I felt more comfortable allowing the relationship to progress.
I largely ignored the men asking me to dominate them, which happened as frequently as every third or fourth message, but they did make me wonder: Were these men simply casting out a large net in hopes of catching anyone, or was there something about me that served as a beacon to white male submissives? As I headed into my late thirties, though, I thought of all the opportunities of sexual exploration I'd been denied because it may have interfered with an ex's "manhood," or because of my own lack of confidence.