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A common assumption among males is that all females have similar perspectives on romance.
This is particularly off the mark with respect to female INFJs.
“Canned romance,” such as receiving the same bouquet of flowers every year come Valentine’s day, is apt to mean little to INFJs, who are quick to differentiate the “real and authentic” from the “fake and contrived.” For the INFJ, romance is cultivated on a daily basis through open communication and authentic action.
What is done on special occasions is merely icing on the cake.
The title of David Keirsey’s book, Please Understand Me, aptly expresses what INFJs are seeking in their relationships. Considering their status as the rarest of all personality types, this comes as little surprise.
There are numerous misunderstandings about INFJs that could potentially hamper their dating and relational success.
In their friends, as well as their romantic partners, they seek intelligence (both intellectual and emotional), honesty, openness, and authenticity.
While rarely wearing their openness on their sleeves, as ENFPs are wont to do, INFJs can be surprisingly open to unique or less conventional relational practices.
No relationship can be optimally navigated without an adequate understanding of each partner’s “weak spots.” The inferior can be problematic because it is both alluring and underdeveloped.
It is like a child who desperately wants to get behind the wheel of a car because driving looks like so much fun.
This typically stems from INFJs’ tendency to extravert Judging (Fe).
But as I’ve described elsehwhere, IJs are often better understood as Perceivers because their dominant function (e.g., Ni) is a Perceiving function.
They relish the chance to share their wisdom, theories, and insights.