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Flirting, may point to something in the relationship or in the individual.
Maybe the partner doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship, maybe romance is missing, or maybe they don’t respect their partner (or themselves).
These women feel disrespected and think their partners’ are hypocrites when imagining what would happen if they started flirting in front of their husbands. And yet, these women hear their partners’ say, if they even admit to flirting, “We were just talking, don’t worry, it’s not serious, you’re being overly sensitive.”These sorts of interactions typically don’t go well.
The flirt-er thinks their partner is making too much about nothing, and their partner is furious and or threatened.
We become alive, animated, focused, and totally aware of the other person.
Our senses are attenuated, the heart beats quickly, and the mind plays with fantasy and reality, balancing between playful teasing and serious intention or the “what if” scenario that bounces between the synapses of our brain. Maybe your relationship has flattened out or become mired in the everyday chores of raising a family.
For example, when courting my current partner, I flirted with her and I was serious in my intentions (we have since been in a relationship for sixteen years).
Also, I have flirted with women in a playful manner with no intentions of it leading anywhere, both when I was single, and when I was in a committed relationship.◊♦◊There is no doubt in my mind that flirting when in a relationship has the potential for disaster on a number of fronts.
There is a saying in psychology – all behavior is functional. It may be totally dysfunctional but, it has a purpose.Having lived many years and being a therapist has changed my mind on this one.Every day I hear women complaining about their partner’s flirting.The simple answer to this problem is for the flirt-er to stop flirting when the partner is present.
If they are unable to do this, a deeper look is required.In other words, when playing with fire, there is always the potential to get burned. I have seen buddies of mine push the envelope when flirting and getting themselves into hot water with their spouses by being a little too obvious in their engagement with other women.